logbook// 19th of july 2018 on #interchangeable

hello lovely world people out there, decided to finally start writing little stories, honest stories, stories i go on and on about in my head and sometimes stories that i don’t have an answer to.. hope you like reading it and get a bit of a spin for your own day by day// life story


hmm, this world seems to get crazier and crazier and we seem to just follow unresisting all the “special offers” it has in place. we can have it all, everything is instantly available, perfection, stuff, food, happiness, love.. hold on.. really?

maybe it might seem this is what it looks like but somehow it is not the real deal.. where are the honesty, the non-perfection, the dark moments, the demons that we all have in us? we seem to heavily over-paint all the bad and ugly by a optically sparkling bright white layer of perfection. disregarding that without medicating the root it only gets worse and worse and worse..

most of the time we act according to perfection and happiness and show only this side of us to the outside world. don’t get me wrong, i don’t ask you to run around with a grumpy face and let the world know how bad your day is. but if you feel like it helps to ventilate this feeling by talking to people and letting it out then feel free to do so.

we oversee that this negative, ugly and bad side belongs to us and will always stay an equal part of us. we have to simply deal with it too. only if you are able to face your demons and interact with them you regain control. you become the driver of your life vehicle. you become aware that those demons can only be tamed by dealing with them not by suppressing them. face them, they are ugly, big and annoying but eventually you become friends.

so once we realize there is a dark side in all of us, we start to look deeper, to look behind the facade and see what else is there. additionally we realize that the world is not only a happy place and that problems, challenges and struggle are also an indispensable part of it. but once we realize, we become aware and we start to accept this as a part of the whole package.

i myself have several bad days, usually after a very good day i dip and sometimes i dip very low. sometimes it is a row of bad days. but accepting this as a part of me, i started to deal with it and enjoy all: the good, the bad and the ugly parts in me. even though we all don’t really want to show the existence of this, we should. we really should. this might be ugly but it is raw, pure, honest and real and this is also a part of the true you.

dealing with that world makes me think further of how we interact and treat other people. everything became so interchangeable. as soon as something is not perfect anymore, we just get rid of it and replace it by something new. something shiny and beautiful something where we can rip open the packaging and start all over again. simple as it is. but why actually?

shouldn’t those old school things have an emotional value to you that is bigger than a instant swap for new? aren’t they a part of you and should be repaired and look like they lived with you for a while. i have several possessions that i use daily and they look really used but that gives them the characteristic of being with me for a while.. and when they are not in place, something is truly missing..

and you can probably see it coming that i don’t only speak about materialistic things that we own. we treat people around us exactly with the same cookie cutter approach. as soon as something is not according to perfection and doesn’t work out as we want it to, we simply dispose, dump it in the rubbish and get rid of it as quickly as possible

— and just like that go for someone new—

a new special offer on the market. a new shiny toy, a new face, a new friend, a new partner etc. as soon as problems arise, we simply leave in order to not deal with the root problems. but you know what? those demons will haunt you, they will haunt you forever. and they become bigger and bigger and at some point the big wave breaks on you. and might drown you. we cannot throw away endlessly without dealing with the trash at some point..

i honestly kinda like to deal with that. looking into friendship or relationship i"ll give you a simple example: having someone by your side means to deal with a lot of "stuff". but if you fully dive into that you realize that all together 1 plus 1 becomes bigger than 2. this is how the magic happens. you get to know each other weaknesses and you reflect, talk about them and both accept bits and pieces. and if you have bigger discrepancies of any nature, you might fight, get to talk about them and find out where they come from and how to deal with them, both of you.

me, i like to grow on each other, i like to support each other and see what one can achieve by being a 2plus. i am not a big fan of dating new people but a fan of getting to know people when there is a click from second one. i like to invest my precious time in people, to get to know them, to learn about them and to eventually see their dark side.

so out of my perspective i can only give you this piece of advice: don’t dump precious things and especially people in the bin but invest, recycle, polish and repair them. trust me this is where the hidden value will show up and you will be amazed how much there is to discover. people will show sides you would have never expected and you can learn so much about them but also about yourself. sometimes people show us a side of us we don’t want to see or simply ignore. that side might be they key to you so don’t turn away.. stay and see what is in for you..

thank you for reading until this point, means the world to me..

much love, K