logbook// 26th of july 2018 on #ordinarypeople

hello lovely world people out there, decided to finally start writing little stories, honest stories, stories i go on and on about in my head and sometimes stories that i don’t have an answer to.. hope you like reading it and get a bit of a spin for your own day by day// life story


ordinary is something i kind of never wanted to be.. why actually? it felt so.. ordinary i guess :-) so the question is more what did feel wrong about being ordinary? why did it feel not worthy enough? today i don't know why i was thinking ordinary is not good but maybe because i shifted perspective and understand today how powerful ordinary can be. and probably it was because i felt i need to follow the crowd and strive for something special, something more than average, something amazing, something with the wow tag on it. average feels so like everybody else, right? but what is wrong about that? why do we actually compare us to everyone and try to rise above average and on the opposite dwarf ourselves all the time by comparison? i can't say i don't do but i do it way less nowadays. because i see the negative side to it. it usually leaves you feeling bad. just to give you a few examples: you feel not young enough, skinny enough, your body turns into not perfect at all. especially when you start to compare yourself against all kind of advertisement you feel like shit afterwards. and when you compare against people, you get to a point where all others have more, are more successful, are more whatever etc etc.

but let me tell you a really big secret to life: stop comparing and diminishing because we all are unique. and that is our true super power. each and every single individual has it and that has true beauty to it.

we are all unique, one of a kind and there is actually no one that is the same. think about it: this is really cool. i mean, somehow what comes with it is that we have plenty flaws too. but isn't that really lovely too? it adds even more uniqueness huh? i have plenty flaws too, to give you a few examples on my body: my legs are not perfect, i could spend more time at the gym etc and loosing 3kg would probably make me slide way more smoothly into my skinny jeans. but you know what? i really don't care about those secondary things in life anymore. even though it took many years to get there. especially working in fashion for the last 12 years and consequently being surrounded by the latest fashion as well as young girls mostly underweight didn't make that easier at all. it made me feel bad most of the time. i was criticizing me on a daily base. and was striving for something my body could never be. to stay with my example: i don't have skinny legs but they are muscular and i learned to embrace that. i don't have a thigh gap but hey, probably my body is just not having the disposition to be that. AND i like food way too much to go without and try to be that skinny. but when you see me on a bike, i need those legs and every single muscle so i can cycle like a pro :-)

same counts for what people think about me. i am open for feedback that people give me. i appreciate that a lot and listen and take in what they say. but you also have to accept that you can't be everybody's darling and that is ok too. so if i am not someone's cup of tea that is ok and i move on. you have to define your true essence at some point and close the circle. you keep changing but you have to keep the smallest denominator of your essence together and work from there. as soon as you are aware of that, it makes it easier to deal with the outside world. don't get me wrong: i take all the advice i can get and most of it made me reconsider who i was and made me the person i am today. and i am very grateful for every little piece of advice i got along the way. but it all added on this little piece called my essence.

but let's get back to ordinary and unique. actually ordinary is equal unique is what we learned so far, right? :-) once you get to a point where you do not diminish ordinary anymore, you realize that it is a good way to live your life. you calibrate your life scale in a new context. and by doing so, you become more lean back. you feel way more enough and you let go of striving for something bigger and bigger.

some of you might say at that point that being ordinary is equal to being lazy and not trying to reach the best version of yourself. i agree a bit and i don't agree at the same time. so let me explain my disagreement: i think being ordinary allows you take a step back and observe. it makes you step out of the happening and leaves you more aware of what is there. it seems accepting to be ordinary makes you become happier with less. it sets the zero-point into a new perspective. it adds a feeling of content and being enough with who you are. which at the same time doesn't mean that you stop taking care and striving for a better version of you. you just become more relaxed, you sit in the seat of an observer instead of trying to sit in the first row all the time but it doesn't change the ambitious side. it settles expectations and achievments into a new context.

i embrace ordinary more and more and i like to gallivant on this new zero-point of my life. it makes me feel alive, it makes me experience way more intense what is there and it allows life to surprise me from time to time with blowing off my mind. it can be all: things and/ or people. i like this moment of surprise, this turns that life takes and i like to stay curious by seeking out for more and i like to enjoy this simple yet powerful shift in my perspective.

i hope it might also give you little food for thoughts and awareness of how powerful and strong ordinary can be. enjoy life in its most ordinary form, it's absolutely worth it.

thank you for reading until this point, means the world to me..

much love, K