logbook// 21st of august 2018 on #mysteryoflife

hello lovely world people out there, decided to finally start writing little stories, honest stories, stories i go on and on about in my head and sometimes stories that i don’t have an answer to.. hope you like reading it and get a bit of a spin for your own day by day// life story


here i am with another little story that makes me think a lot. it is how most of us try to create, pre-plan and pre-define a roadmap in life. disregarding that we have so little influence on what is kind of THE plan for our life. the only thing we know is that we basically know nothing is what i learned. and the more we try to bend life into a shape we want, the more life snaps back and gives us all kind of curveballs to handle. we have little control and that little means how we react onto the things that life throws at us. and basically our reaction upon what happens seems to be the key. my experience showed the less expectations we have, the better. the more openminded we become, the more beauty will unfold in each turn. each and every crossroad becomes exciting and we become willing to face what there is.

and in the end there seems to be a bigger pattern behind. so let me dive deeper into what i experienced: whatever you have in mind and plan to go after, doesn't really happen in life. actually the more we plan out what we want in life, the less it happens. at least this is how life unfolds for me. as soon as i start to plan, i realize how i get carried away by the waves of life. it took me long time to discover and embrace the beauty of this matter of fact. in the past i tried hard to have life happening according to the idea in my head. everything that happened was mirrored against the plan i had in my head. the problem with this mindset was, that i was constantly unhappy with the status quo. but why? because absolutely nothing happened as i wanted it to. it took quite some time to surrender and accept this fact and the hidden beauty that comes with it. but today i like the mindset to swim with the wave of life very much. only by being able to maintain a non-expectation-driven mindset it is possible to see what life has in store for me. and even better to see the hidden treasure to it. of course you can steer here and there a bit but in the end it all falls into place according to a bigger plan that is meant for all of us. may it be destiny on one hand or fate, fortune, luck or chance on the other, in the end we can do little to influence. but we can influence how we react upon what is happening.

so here is the option portfolio: the choice we have is either to hold onto the past and try to hold onto something that is not there anymore or to embrace what might be. whenever you find yourself at a threshold of life, you can decide to either fight the new door that is opening or simply surrender to what may come. the only difference is the longer we try to maintain a status quo that is not there anymore, the more we twist and turn and fight against the new. and in the end the new will come your way anyway. so the longer you resist and try to stay in a threshold, the more difficult it becomes because a threshold is not a place to be.

it is not an easy thing to accept indeed. i was living a lot in the past in my life. so often was i holding onto something. believing that this is it. sticking to a picture in my head that was not there anymore. painting this romantic idea in my head of something that simply wasn't there anymore. i tried to keep telling myself that i don't want to enter the new door. that i simply want to stay in the old door just a little bit longer. i learned hard that riding a dead horse is not a solution to go. i learned whatever change in life is thrown at us and however that feels in first place and possibly might make you feel anxious, the only way to deal with it is to SIMPLY.SAY.YES. EMBRACE.THE.NEW. whatever is there, you will take out a big learning and see that living in the moment is the only way to live and enjoy life. YOU.CANNOT.RESIST - YOU.HAVE.TO.SURRENDER.

from time to time i did also the opposite: i tried to live in the future. i thought maybe this might do it for me, painting scenarios in my head that never came into reality. and the only feeling i was left with was disappointment of how far of from this "ideal" scenario life took me facing the future. the stronger i tried to hold on, the more life ripped this picture and me apart. the more i tried to have life playing according to my rules, the more life threw the most ridiculous things at me.  

i myself definitely believe in a higher power, in a greater good and that the universe has things in place for every one of us. and that the options and surprises are endless. however, when those things happen i become very humble. and simply wonder. there are things and people that you meet in life and you know that the chance to meet them is statistically very close to zero if not impossible. but all of a sudden they are just there. and all of a sudden something small changes in you. and sometimes it happens so quickly that we feel fully overwhelmed by the intensity of those encounters. but this is how life goes, this is how the waves of life evolve. and even if you didn't ask for them, they become connected in you. they simply are on the same wavelength. and possibly you feel like you knew them forever without really knowing them.. this is one of the examples how surprisingly life can be.. and usually there are three reasons why they appear. either they step into your life for a reason which means to teach you a lesson or give you a little spin in the right direction. the second option is a season so it means they might stay with you for a period of time. and the third option is they are meant for a lifetime which is self explaining i believe. it is good whenever that happens to see the possibilities and if they are meant for a shorter period to also let go if they don't want to stay with you. there is always a reason for that and sometimes it is ok not to know but just accept that fact and take the lesson..

life plays the way life wants to play with you. we try to believe that we have the power to go through life according to what we have in mind. let me tell you one thing: this is not what happens in 99% of the cases. so surrender, accept, enjoy, see the beauty in it and enjoy the moment. smile at all those coincidences of life, all the mystery that our life has in store for you. as soon as you loose expectations, life becomes light, airy, unexpected and beautiful. and you start to live instead of being lived. i did that for many years, i allowed to be lived by life and circumstances instead of swimming with the surge of life. let me give you that advice to realize this life lesson soon enough to enjoy and indulge instead of fighting what might come. we have surely some control but in the end we have very little. it can be over tomorrow but when you live every day to the fullest, you enjoy enough to not regret if something bad happens. life is beautiful. EVERY.DAY.EVERY.MOMENT.EVERY.LITTLE.THING and once you start to see those little things, you turn into a happy kid that simply enjoys every rollercoaster ride.

thank you for reading until this point, means the world to me..

much love, K