logbook// 17th of february 2019 on #issuperficialthenewnorm

hello lovely world people out there, decided to finally start writing little stories, honest stories, stories i go on and on about in my head and sometimes stories that i don’t have an answer to.. hope you like reading it and get a bit of a spin for your own day by day// life story


are we all lost somehow? i wonder more and more how disconnected most of us are.. i know it might sound very dramatic in first place but i feel more and more like this nowadays..

let me explain a bit: walking on the streets or taking the tram i observe a lot, sometimes i just sit down in a cafe and watch people passing by and the scenery itself. the more i see the more i loose faith.. there are so little people who keep their head up and really take in what is happening around them. and i mean just the beauty of the moment that will pass in a blink of an eye. either the rays of sunlight or just small things that happen when you are able to see them.. instead most people are constantly on their phone. either taking pictures to document but only by seeing the scenery through their phone display. and somehow pretending how perfect their life is (don’t get me wrong, maybe their life is perfect but latest as soon as the photo session is over the bored face expressions returns on their face). the other group pretends to have a good time with the people they hang out with but then also them are constantly on their phone and seem not to listen to what the other have to say. or even worse there seem to be no conversation but each one is on their phone having a “conversation” elsewhere. i see it everywhere and the worst for me are couples who seem to have nothing to say anymore but just spend time on their phone.. how alone can you get being in a relationship? i guess very very alone..

yeah this is the thing that makes me contemplate where this world is about to head to and i truly believe we all lost a bit of meaning in life.

we lost the connection that chatting on the phone with our friends does not mean we are connecting the same way as spending time with them in real life. watching our friends’ posts on social media doesn’t mean we engage with them. and honestly how the hell do you know this is a true representation of how they feel? don’t we all pretend a bit and make everything look a bit brighter and more colourful instead of telling the truth? same is accountable to our dating culture: our “matches” on tinder or other platforms with whom we chat for a long time are not people that we truly know. we create a picture of them with the information given. and then we meet and the bubble just bursts. oh well, what can you do, right? we just move on and play the same game over and over again..

we lost a bit of meaning and being so lost i feel we struggle to find back to the smallest common ground that is of true value to us. we are confused and we have a constant fear of missing out so we try to keep all the balls in the air and by checking social media we feel like engaging with sooo many friends all at the same time. trust me this is a huge fallacy if you believe you know how your friends are doing by checking their social media.

i realized many things about myself but also how i see life and so many things started to fall into place and dawn on me recently. to realize how much importance lies in a true connection is what i learned. i still sometimes feel disconnected because there are only a handful people who i truly connect with but these are the ones that make me feel alive in a deeper sense. these are the ones that share common values with me and the ones that truly care. these are the ones that give and take in equal shares. it doesn’t mean though that we speak on a daily base but it means whenever we talk or see each other we feel like nothing changed at all. i love that. i love how something deep in me clicks with them and how much we give each other. it leaves me stunned every time that happens. and whenever i meet someone new and this connection happens i know how much it means to me to only look for those true deep connections and fade out the background noise.

nevertheless i had a lot time where i missed this connection completely and i felt lost myself. i had dark times where i couldn’t find people to connect with. but seeing it now i see that as simple as it sounds first of all i was not connected to myself. so how would i expect to connect to someone else? it took lots of time but eventually i found the connection in me first. i always say you have to save yourself first before you are able to safe others and there is so much truth in it.

a couple of weeks ago i turned my phone display accommodations into black/white scheme and something clicked in me. it made me realize the huge difference between the real world and the artificial one that happens in our phone. and both worlds - even though it might feel like it - are absolutely not the same. it made me think a lot and it made me realize a huge difference in general. i spend way less time with my phone and i clearly see the line between both worlds. it’s not that i didn’t see the difference but i felt literally being sucked into my phone and this completely stopped. and seeing other people’s phones now i see how bright the colour scheme is and i always twitch slightly as i realize how blind i must have been before.

so here is my usual invite: if it resonated in you to change your phone settings then give it a try. the function is buried very deeply but you will find it if you google it.

apart from that the invite is to connect and feel a bit more. to listen with no intention to reply and to leave your phone out of focus for a couple of hours and have some fun again. engage. connect. thrive. laugh and enjoy. truly ask how people are doing and what is going on their life. what they are passionate about etc. you might learn some beautiful facts and truly will you feel how great that feels in you. leave being superficial at the door and dive deeper into who you surround yourself with. it might change your perspective but i promise the change will be good.

thank you for reading until this point, means the world to me..

much love, K